Christians Can Go To Hell

That was a bad move on the part of the local Jesus Freak outfit. I hadn't been home 10 minutes when two of them showed up on my front porch, ringing the bell like nobody's business.

"Whaddya want?!" I barked, throwing the door open with one hand while balancing a glass of Dickel and a stogie in the other.

"Good evening sir," said the first one, a dude.

"How are you tonight?" asked his partner, a fat chick with a mustache. Then they launched into some crazy shit about Jesus.

Having no other choice, I whipped out my pecker and pissed on both of them. That's how we deal with Christ-lovers around these parts. Bank on it.