I'm Not Wearing Any Pants

It's true, I'm not. Intrigued yet, ladies? You should be. I'm talking about 350 pounds of love meat poured into a leopard skin speedo, waiting to give you pleasure unlike any you've ever imagined.

Tell me you're not getting hot and I'll call you a goddamn liar. Drop the charade, your inhibitions, and your pants; we're on a collision course with amore. Toot toot!