You're Looking At Jeopardy!'s Next Big Winner

Bank on it. 'Cause in less than 15 minutes, I'll be taking Jeopardy!'s "Online Contestant Test."

I just hope I make it to the "Showcase Showdown" once I qualify. I wouldn't mind getting an up-close look at those knockers on Barker's Beauties, if you know what I mean. If you don't, I mean I want to ogle their tits. A-oo-gah.

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UPDATE: Looks like I had my game shows mixed up. Apparently they just ask you a lot of hard questions on Jeapordy!, without any boobies in sight. Much less any exciting prize packages. They can go to hell.