Bingo

Holy shit. My scratch-off ticket -- it's a winner. For a cool 10 grand no less. The ironic thing is I'm already worth millions, so this means nothing to me.

I bet a lot of you readers could really use this money, huh? You know, to pay bills, buy a car, put a down payment on a house. Whatever it is poor people do with large sums of found cash. Which is why it's lucky to have been won by me. 'Cause now it gets to be spent at the local Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, instead of being put to a "good" (read: boring) use.

Anyhow, see you suckers later. Post-lap dances later, that is.