Open Letter To Lars Ulrich
Dear Sir or Madam:
I recently had the misfortune of watching your band's documentary, Some Kind of Monster. As a result, I'm now aware of your deep hatred for people who steal your music. Well, get ready to hate me, 'cause I got a 60 gigabyte iPod a couple weeks ago and I've been filling it with every stolen song I can get my hands on. Including yours.
That's right. In a matter of days I had free digital copies of Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, ...And Justice for All, Load, ReLoad, Garage Inc., and Live Shit: Binge and Purge. And don't worry, I got all five discs of those last two.
Not that your music is particularly good, but it gets the job done. Especially when it's time to lash the troops down at the office. But most importantly? I didn't have to pay one red cent for any of it. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, nancy boy.
Sincerely,
Oswald J. Carver III
[Occupation Classified]
p.s. Psychiatrists are for pansies. Even more so when used in all-male group sessions. You pansy.
2 comments:
Hey, Oz
I like your honesty and down to earth views. I totally agree with you on what you said to Lars. He's got to take a fuckin' pill and lighten up, dude. Life is too short! Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweatty things, I say!
Cheers!
Dear, sweet Hawaika--
You are truly a rare breed of woman, and are welcome at my Funhouse any time. Also, don't be shy about sending "sporty pictures," wink wink nudge nudge!
Regards,
Oz
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